Pin Ups
by S J Smith-Evil Little Dog
Summary: It doesn't take long before the men descend into jocularity.   One-sided Kain/Havoc.


**Title: **Pin Ups

**Author:** S J Smith

**Rating:** Teen

**Summary:** Hawkeye's away, and the Tachi are being bad.

**Disclaimer:** These are Arakawa's characters, not mine. Drat it.

**Note: ** Thanks, as always, to D. M. Evans for the edits. Also. Written for the LJ community, FMA_Slashfest.

X X X

It only took one day of Hawkeye's leave before the men were out of control.

Havoc hung the girly calendar, citing there were no rules and regulations against it, and even Falman didn't have any objections. Breda openly admired the illustrations, while the Colonel actually took it off the wall, flipping through it until he came to Miss May. "This is a beautiful woman," he said, turning the picture to the rest of the office, of a girl in a striped blue and white swimsuit, leaning back on her elbows, her legs spread and her feet strapped into high-heeled sandals. Her wavy dark hair draped over her shoulders, and her smile offered all sorts of delights to her viewers.

Havoc snorted, waving his hand. "She's all legs and barely any tit."

"Good strong thighs," Mustang insisted, tapping the juncture between them.

"Aw, Chief, boobs make a woman!" Havoc said.

"Actually, a woman is more than just a sum of her parts," Falman joined the conversation. His expression took a distant look. "She's not just 'a rag and a bone and a hank of hair'."

Havoc snatched back his calendar, flipping to Miss February to show her off, in her bent down, looking over her shoulder, miniskirted glory. "Yeah, she's also boobs and will you look at those lips?" Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a cigarette, sticking it in his mouth without lighting it.

Kain turned back to his work, shuffling his feet as the hubbub went from a conversation to an argument, including paper being thrown and accusations being flung. In truth, he really didn't have anything to contribute to the conversation, such as it was. It wasn't that he didn't find the female form interesting, he did. It was highly functional, after all, and Kain admit it could be pleasing to look at, in a completely non-sexual way. First Lieutenant Hawkeye always had an air of competence to her that Kain found satisfying. Not that he didn't enjoy spending time with the men, he did. But Hawkeye always knew the right thing to say and do, and kept a tight enough rein with the men so they didn't wreak havoc throughout the base.

"What about you, Fuery?" He looked up to find Havoc leaning over his desk, the calendar in his hand. "Which one's your favorite?"

He blinked, looking at the calendar then up at Havoc, hoping his eyes weren't as wide as they felt.

"Yeah, Fuery, you oughtta chime in here," Breda said.

"Oh, I," he trailed off, taking the calendar from Havoc and flipping through the pages, making appropriate sounds he hoped conveyed interest in the women illustrated throughout. "Miss September." She, at least, looked approachable, and, once he pointed her out, he realized she kind of resembled First Lieutenant Hawkeye.

Taking the calendar back, Havoc gave the picture a long look. "Not bad, not bad." He tongued his cigarette from one side of his mouth to the other and Kain forced his eyes down on his desk and his paperwork. His mouth went dry at the thought of the cigarette rolling around Havoc's lips, at the image of something else moving around Havoc's lips. Swallowing hard, he clenched and unclenched his hands a few times, picking up his pen again. Kain shot a glance at the clock. Fifteen minutes, and he could take a break, and with Havoc playing with his cigarette, he really needed one.

Why was it he always fell for the ones who didn't have a clue? Havoc treated him more like a little brother than a comrade-at-arms, something more to quash his dreams. It didn't stop Kain from imagining what it would be like, wrapped around Havoc - iJean/i - sharing a night with him that didn't involve calendars, or talk about women's boobs, and showing him just how much Kain knew about pleasuring his lover.

He blinked away his daydream. It did him no good at work. It only frustrated him, made him unhappy, kept him from his duties. And those were more important right now than his lovelife – or lack thereof.

Kain smiled wryly to himself as Havoc launched a paper wad at Breda. It hurt some, knowing he'd never be able to fulfill his dream. But not as much as missing these moments. So he'd play Havoc's little brother, if that's what Jean wanted, and keep his dreams confined to after hours, back in his own room.

Where he could fantasize all he wanted, and never, ever have to explain why his calendar was full of pictures of men.

X X X


End file.
